“I alone don’t know”
-Tao Te Ching

Occasionally you’ll meet someone who seems to have it all figured out. “It” meaning their life and work and how they shape it. Based on my experience in my own life and from my experience of coaching other succesful people, I can assure you that everyone is always trying to figure it out. It seems to be human nature to desire growth and change.

Next time you meet someone seemingly “invincible” remember that they are human just like you and trying to figure it out in their own way just like you. Someday soon people will proudly declare this publicly and it will not be perceived as weak. It will not be taboo to discuss such matters and people will openly work on figuring it out together. Of course if you look around you can already see people doing this. There is great strength in not knowing. This much I know!

Maybe I spent too many years living in a large city or perhaps I didn’t have the youthful confidence or peace.  In either case, I spent the past 10 years of my life walking around my neighborhood streets with eyes averted when I’d pass other people.

Juxtaposing this habit, I fondly remember a guy that I would see at a park in Berkeley several times per week.  Every time I passed this guy he had a big bright smile and would loudly say hello.  His greeting was so genuine that it infused my soul and put a pep in my step.  I have also witnessed my father-in-law become rich with stories of making friends out of strangers and my aunt who does the same in the establishments she frequents.  Having watched these people in every day situations, I saw how full their hearts get from even the most routine interactions throughout the day.

Several months ago, partly inspired by these people, I decided that I would open up to life on the street.  No more averted eyes!  Head up and take in the moment.  I began my little experiment by saying hello to my neighbors (strangers at the time) when I would see them outside.  I would start the conversation with a simple compliment about their house or yard, or perhaps a question about the house that had been intriguing me.  Sure enough, this simple outreach began a conversation, more exchange of laughs and smiles, and 5 minutes later I knew my neighbors a bit better and my soul was more full.  Now when I see them on the street we greet each other by first name and we both have the chance to smile.

This simple act took confidence at first.  Even now I find that I must drop all of my thoughts and get present in the moment to say hello to a stranger and mean it deeply.  The practice itself has become addictive because of how good it feels from the energy that you get back.  I smile and say hello to many others who look just like I did a few months ago- head down, eyes averted.  Sometimes it catches them off guard, but when they see your honest eyes you will get a pleased smile and genuine eye contact in return.  It always amazes me how powerful little changes can be in your life.  If for no other reason you should try this just because it just feels good to smile.

If you try starting your own campaign, please report back with your findings!  Email ben(at)theartistfarm.com

Think of something that you find good or bad, ugly or beautiful.  On the surface this would be a subjective thought.  But if you dig beneath the surface thought you can define the components of any topic.  Start by asking the question: “why?”

Ask yourself what aspects of this thing you can define or measure that makes you determine whether it is good or bad, ugly or beautiful?  If you are talking about a house, perhaps you are defining beauty by: style of house, window size, color, materials, location, etc.  With each element, you can dig further into your definition of beauty by putting guidelines or measurements to your definition.  For example: I find the most beautiful window size to be no more than 4 ft height per every 12 feet of elevation.

Once you get the aspects defined, the statement becomes objective and makes discussion or negotiation with someone else much easier.  You might even find that arguments go away completely.

A few days ago I had a “blind business date” with a guy named Rob Douglas co-founder of a video production company called Squid and Beard.   (Interestingly, he has a video project in which he interviews local heros to highlight how these individual threads comprise the fabric of our community).  Rob mentioned the idea of “being part of the conversation” several times.  I had been thinking loosely about this idea recently so I asked him to clarify what that meant for him.

Fusing his words and mine, ‘the conversation’ is happening all around us every day.  The conversation in particular is how to positively push, direct, and affect civilization – this big human experience – while refining what it means to be human.  The conversation happens in both thoughts and actions – in business, in the home, in your community, and online.

There are three things I want to mention about the conversation:

1. Who is in the conversation? If you are reading this then you are engaged in the conversation.  It’s open to all.
2. What’s the best way to contribute to the conversation? As with all conversations I think it is most effective to listen, absorb and digest some ideas, experiment in your own life, analyze the results, and then contribute your findings back into the conversation.  This system helps base the conversation in personal fact/experience rather than conjecture.
3. Where is the conversation happening?  The conversation could take place with your friends, online through a blog, in your workplace, or in your community government… anywhere really.

The conversation is happening.  It’s more interesting with more people involved.   And there is room enough for everyone.  Spread the word!

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P.S – I’d like to read and learn from you how you engage in the conversation.  Drop me a line at ben(at)theartistfarm.com if you’d like to have a conversation about “the conversation.”  I enjoy knowing what you are working on, learning from you, and feeling what we are all creating together.  Thanks!

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For those of you searching for answers in your life, I want to let you know that even though the search may be hard at times…  you will find what you are looking for.

Four tips:

1. You are going to find it inside of you by listening to and being honest with yourself.
2. It may not come all at once as an “Aha!” moment.  It will most likely come about through consistent practice of iterations.
3. Be patient.  It may not happen this month or even this year.  But each little advancement is part of the big picture.
4. Take action.  Be confident and take action.

The reason you will find it is because you are looking.  The biggest difference between you and the person that doesn’t find it is that you are actively searching.  Don’t give up on yourself.

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P.S.  Here’s a great article on the topic: http://www.fastcompany.com/magazine/66/mylife.html

On most days over the past several months, I have been enjoying a morning walk in a forest near my home.  Because I spend my days in an office engaged in the fast paced lifestyle of the “connected” world, I find that these moments help set the tone for the day.

Near the end of the walk, I get off the path, trapse down a hillside and sit on a fallen tree overlooking a small ravine.  It is there that I allow myself to be still for a few moments.  I try to drop my thoughts and let my head be quiet.  What I start to notice is that the woods are intensely alive.  They have a noise all of their own: at least 10 different types of birds chirping, bees and other insects flying around catching the sunlight on their wings, squirrels running about, and if the wind is blowing the trees themselves dance and rustle.

When we look at a stand of forest from a macro level, especially coming from our typical level of consciousness (dealing with fast paced world), it seems to be still, unmoving, and unchanging.  But when you get inside the woods – when you insert yourself into the ‘macro level’, you become the micro.  If you let yourself be silent and you adjust to this pace, you will see there is just as much energy, noise (in a good way), and change in a little stand of woods as there is in the “world around you.”

I’m not sure if there is a lesson here for you.  All I know is that it’s poetic and beautifully peaceful when I gift myself the stillness and silence to experience it.  It’s humbling really.

When you were a kid, who were the people you looked up to and admired?  Maybe it was the big name baseball player or the famous golfer.  But most likely, the people you looked up to were the ones who you experienced in your every day life – your baseball or softball coach, your Scout leader, your teacher, your big siblings or neighbors.  These were your local heros.   They could be stern, tough, young, old, cool, strong, athletic, smart, caring or any combination of the above.  These people meant something to you and they carried significant clout in your mind.

When we get older we have the ability to comprehend the larger world around us we start to admire business and thought leaders that are larger than life.  In many cases these leaders can be distant from us in terms of geographic location.  Originally we learned of them through books, and now the internet has allowed us to share information across the globe quickly so thoughts can influence us from anywhere at anytime.  I spend a lot of time reading thoughts from these people.

Recently I’ve been considering the power of local heros again in the same way I did when I was a child.  We have a lot of them here in Charlottesville.  I look around and see loads of other small business owners making positive impact on my immediate community every day.  These people inspire me as well but in a more subtle, yet more tangible way.  This thought has made me consider what I do in my local community to give back.  After a quick inventory check I realize that for all of the work I do: blogging, coaching, and working with bands- it is the relationships I have right here in my own town where I can see my life and its impact most acutely.  For example, we bring our artists to our town for a show and I can directly experience the joy it brings to friends and family.  I coach local business owners and see their work blossom in front of my eyes.  I work directly with our employees and interns and I can watch them grow.  My wife and I host pot lucks to connect friends and neighbors.

I mention this because I see in myself and many other ambitious folks the urge to connect and make a difference in the world.  But making a difference in the world doesn’t start from the largest podium or the largest voice.  Even the largest voice started in a local community somewhere.

We all have the opportunity to be a local hero.  And you never know how or when you are being the hero.  When I was younger, I didn’t tell my coach or teacher that I admired them even though I learned a lot from the best of them.  Even now if I look up to someone I don’t always remember to tell them.  The opportunity could come in even the smallest moment with a stranger.  The lingering memory or effect of that moment could last a life time though.  In all of the striving to make a difference in the larger world, we should remind ourselves that everyday we have the chance to be a hero in our immediate community.

I write to the individual because all world change starts within each of us.  You are the only entity that matters for change.

I want to see a world with no war, so I try to show you peace inside.

I want to see a world where we live in harmony with nature, so I seek to remind you of the simple joy you have while outside on a sunny spring day.

I want to see a world where people value experience more than material things, so I strive to show you that love, joy, excitement, and laughter come from experience, not the objects around you.

I want to see cities designed around pedestrians, so I encourage you feel the beauty of walking.

I want to be a part of this world, so I write to create this world and to connect with others that feel it too.

Thank you for reading and for being.

I’ve been wanting a phrase to describe our business philosophy.  Actually it’s not just our business philosophy, it’s one that I see traces of in many of the great business books including ones written by Tom Peters, Peter Drucker, Dale Carnegie, and Seth Godin.  The concept is to build a business around being a better human as much as you build it around generating profit.  The phrase that comes to my head to define this is Human-Centric Business.

To me, Human-Centric Business means that as an employer you take on the role of teaching, empowering, and growing your employees.  Running a human-centric business means that you don’t just hire employees to do a job, to delegate tasks to, or to run part of your assembly line.  You are creating a community with your business and your role as an employer is to be a mentor in business and life.  If it’s not one of your strong suits currently, get some “life coaching” (bad term, good profession) to learn how to be more self-aware.  Self-awareness generates more awareness of others and this is the single key to becoming an amazing boss.

Human-Centric also means that your business is generating something positive for the world – something with the benefit of the larger population in mind.  I recognize this is a gray area but I feel confident that if you find self-awareness the rest will take care of itself.

You are right!  They are definitely wrong!  This thinking is called judgement.  As soon as you see your way as right and their way as wrong you have made a judgement.  Judgement leads to argument.  Argument leads to a bunch of other miserable outcomes.

What if you can get beneath right and wrong?  What if you can stop yourself from thinking that there is something so definite as right and wrong.  What does it mean to be “right” anyway?  Is it just an idea you are putting out there?  In that case you want to be right just for the sake of “winning.”  And if you want to be right to convince someone to be part of your team or the work you are building then you have two choices.  One you can just move on from the person that  doesn’t agree with it.  Two, you can get beneath right and wrong to see what they need to make it work for them.

Getting beneath right and wrong loosens up the lines we draw in the sand and makes way for conversation rather than argument.  Give it a try and you may find that life suddenly becomes much smoother.