My work is an expression of who I am.  I figure out who I am and what works means to me at the same time.  In other words, this is what I would be doing even if I didn’t “have to work.”  The very intentional goal has always been to make “work” not work but rather constructive play with friends and the world.

I have always assumed that this approach to work isn’t for everyone.  I’ve heard that some people just like to have a job that they can leave at the end of the day and not have to think about it.  I realized recently that I don’t really believe this.

If you enjoy the work you are doing then you are doing it for your pleasure and for the Business of You.  On the other hand, if you are miserable at work then you need to adjust something in the Business of You.

We all go home at the end of the day.  Not thinking about work has nothing to do with the work itself but rather your ability to be mindful and in the moment.

So… if you fit into this category, no more excuses.  Find the work that makes you come alive and make the work live.  We all benefit from this.

Imagine a circle drawn in the dirt and you standing in the middle of it.  Your goal in life and work is to stay centered (balanced is another term for it).  Here are some scenarios you may feel at the work place.

Pulled/Pulling – As an employee sometimes you are pulled into work that you don’t want to do.  Inside you resent being asked to do the work or you disagree with the method of how to go about the work.  First, fearlessly question (to yourself) what you don’t like about the work.  If you think there is a better method, find a way to express this to your boss.  If you just don’t like the work but you have to do it, find what piece works for you.  Recognize when you feel pulled and try to find how to define and practice your center.

As an employer you know the feeling of pulling an employee into work when they clearly don’t want to do it.  When you become aware of it, mention your observation and without emotion or ego, ask them what they like/dislike about the assignment.  Opening the conversation is the start of helping your employee be centered.

Chasing – When you chase an opportunity this implies that all of your momentum is going forward.  What happens if you don’t win the chase?  You’re exhausted.  Possibly you trip, and fall flat.  There is no need to chase.  It’s better to stay in the center of your circle, know what you do really well, and then announce that and converse from this centered position.

Driving – This implies control while remaining centered.  From the center of your circle, observe yourself.  What work do you choose to drive.  What really motivates you?  What do you really excel at and enjoy?   As a boss you can observe this of the people around you as well.  In work and life, empower those around you by recognizing what they choose to drive and passing work to them that fits within their circle.

If you feel yourself being pulled out of your circle, chasing an opportunity, or being pushed off balance, step into the driver’s seat and steer yourself back to center.  The center is where you will find true power.

Deep down inside
The world has never changed

The trees stand still
The sun still shines
Still life lives
and man asks why.
——-

The morning dew, the evening light
and all that happens in between

shutters fancy
features fly
creatures desperate
for goodbye

stolen memories
squandered dreams
all exist
in this fluid stream

Here are some simple stories about walking, a reminder to enjoy the simple things in our day:

1. When I was a little kid, I grew up in the country.  At that age my backyard was an entire world – endlessly explorable.  I knew nothing else.  I walked all over that back yard, into the woods, into the neighboring farm, up on the hillsides, the stream, the pond, and around the house.  I loved it and needed nothing else.
2. In the summers we would go to Cape May, NJ for a one-week vacation.  The house we rented was in town and in the downtown was a pedestrian mall.  On the beautiful summer evenings we would walk from the house down the stone sidewalks, past the Victorian homes to the pedestrian mall where we had access to outdoor music, candy and ice cream shops, and people enjoying their time.  This was my introduction to “urban” walking and the benefits of home being close to commercial districts.  Those nights were magical.
3. This winter dumped several feet of snow on the east coast, especially in Virginia.  There were several days when residents of our small city were snowed in.  On these days, people were outside walking the streets, owning the streets really (because there were only a few cars on the roads).  People were smiling and saying hello to one another, much more than normal.  People were happy to be walking in such a beautiful scene.

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Walking gives us the opportunity to notice the delicate trim work on the house we pass every day.  We can look our neighbor in the eye, smile, and say hello when we pass them on the street.  The spring blooms smell delightful.  Walking feels good and allows you the chance to access enjoyment in simplicity.

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P.S.  Please share your favorite walking stories, memories, or observations.  Click the little button below to “comment.” Thanks!

The word “business” carries a definite meaning for many people.  By definition it means “the occupation, work, or trade in which a person is engaged.”  I hear people say: “I could never run my own business” or “I don’t like business.”

The way I see it everyone is in business.  Everyone.  You are in the Business of You.

As an employee, you think you have a job.  Here’s another way to look at it: you have a client, not a job.  You have one client that supports your whole business.  Like any business, you had to sell your service to that company to get the contract.  In the Business of You, there is monthly income and expense.  If you lose that client (i.e. get laid off) it hurts the bottom line.  The nice thing about this business is that in the macro view it never fails – it just is.

Running your business is challenging but it can also be great fun.  In your business you get to decide exactly how you want things to run.  You’re the boss in the Business of You.  Remember that.

In my dream last night, I was standing by the Pacific Ocean in Northern California.
Smooth rocks greeted the ocean, while the waves patiently tapped the earth.
To my right, in the water I saw the white face of what appeared to be a polar bear break the surface.
Two young guys reached down to pet the bear’s head.
I thought:  That’s dangerous. Those guys are crazy. Polar Bears eat people.
What’s a polar bear doing in Northern California? It’s not cold enough here.

Next scene, the bear had climbed out of the water and was on a large boulder next to and above me.
The bear was very large and now I could see it had dark fluffy fur, with a white face.
I thought:
Is that a panda bear? I’ve never seen anything like this before. I’m not sure what it is, but it’s big and looks threatening.
My friend next to me informed me that she thought it was a brown bear.
We backed slowly away because great speed would alarm it and perhaps provoke an attack.

Next scene, behind the boulder an SUV was parked.
The “bear” had climbed into the back seat and was leaning into the front, happy and licking its owner in the driver’s seat.
“What is that?” I asked to the owner.
He explained the breed of dog – large like a bear, but fluffy like a poodle, and harmless like a stuffed animal.
I petted the dog, enjoyed the friendly exchange, and said goodbye to the owner.

End of dream.

–

In life we encounter all sorts of new and strange creatures – a new boss, a stranger on the street, new environments. We have the tendency to approach these strange creatures with a mix of fear and curiosity.  Fear can be good because it keeps us safe from obviously dangerous situations. It keeps us from petting the polar bear.

The curiosity in us asks the questions about what we are seeing that we don’t completely understand. The curiosity inside us asks “Why are those guys petting that thing on the head?”  Curiosity is good, it’s the thing that keeps us learning and growing.

The problem comes when the fear trumps the urge to vocalize the question. When this happens, we keep our curiosity inside. We ask the question inside but we are afraid to externalize it.  Our thirst for knowledge (our question) goes unanswered.

What I propose for this new world we’re building is Fearless Questioning. Fearless Questioning is when the urge of curiosity trumps the fear we have inside.  Fearless Questioning leads us to ask questions out loud because we are not afraid of the answer, or afraid we will look stupid or silly.  Fearless Questioning makes us yell across the rocks “Hey, What is that Strange Creature you’re petting?”  Fearless Questioning creates the opportunity to learn something new, to start a new conversation, to make a new connection.  In short, Fearless Questioning creates.

In context of your projects, your life, your business:

Statistics and data offer an analytical view of your actions.  This is the black and white view.  Analysis is important since it provides a factual (not emotional) view of your efforts.

Critics by definition, judge both the merits and the faults of a work.  Approach criticism from your position of power: you are the creator, yet you are balanced enough to learn from someone else if there is something to learn.

“Doing it for you” is the most important aspect of these three.  This should be the core of every iteration.  When you choose to take on a new project, a new line of work, a new exercise – find your reason for doing it for you.  If you are assigned a certain task by your boss that you don’t want to do initially, reframe it in such a way that you can find the opportunity in it.  Make the project yours, take ownership of the reframed perspective so you see your benefit from it.

–

If you can successfully frame your work and life so that you are doing things for you, then you’ll see analysis and criticism as teachers leading you down the path of improvement.  This is satisfying.

It’s very easy to instinctively reach for your phone in an uncomfortable moment.  Most phones are equipped with multiple ways to grab and retain your attention.  In social situations like being at a party, bar, or concert, when you are in between conversations, you don’t want to feel like the loser with no one to talk to so you pick up your phone.  Look at it, see if any new emails came in, send a text, read something.  Anything to keep the moment from being awkward.  When you’re walking down the street on the way to work or to meet a friend you pick up the phone.  Walking is boring so why not.  Driving down the road and you’ve got to stay in touch?  Grab that phone and text.

In these moments you are not reaching for your phone, you are reaching for a security blanket.  Your phone as a security blanket is called a Phone Blanket.  Using the Phone Blanket is common in this fast paced world.

We reach for the Phone Blanket because we are afraid that we are going to miss something.  Afraid of the awkward moment.  Afraid of being bored.

If you’re reading this and it jives with you (and I’ll put myself in this camp) then join me in putting down the Phone Blanket.    Lift your head up and take in the fearful moment.  Break through and be a prisoner no more!

—

Update: Someone had asked me how to break through.  My answer is 1) that awareness of the issue is the first step.  Secondly, if you find that you’d rather not have the phone blanket feeling then 2) when you feel the urge to reach for it, become aware of it, and focus on your breath.  Let the thought pass.  Simply be in that moment without having to reach for the phone.  By doing this you are breaking a habit, and slowly you can condition your mind for a new habit.  The new habit could simply be to enjoy the moment of alone time.  Try to be comfortable by yourself.

Several years ago I was at a Phish concert in a large amphitheater.  If you’re not familiar, Phish is a band known for improvising significant portions of their show.  Watching this show, it became clear to me that the artists and the audience were engaged in a dance – an exchange of energy and attention.  The band circled through three stages:

Driving - At times, the band would crescendo (get louder and faster).  This would send the crowd into a frenzy.  At these moments the band was clearly putting out a big amount of energy.  The audience would absorb it and the music would drive them to dance.  Imagine the energy from the band getting injected into each person.  The band couldn’t sustain this for an entire show.

Cycling – Often times after a crescendo the band would pull it back down into a pre-scripted part of the song (this part not being improvised).  At these moments the energy exchange seemed about the same.  The audience knew the words, the band knew what to play.  This is like hitting even ground on a run or going through the fundamentals at your job.  It’s kind of easy compared to the hills.  Though it was an equal exchange of energy it appeared to be a more superficial exchange.

Absorbing – Then there were the times, often for extended moments and before the crescendo where the band would open up into an improvisational jam.  Often times these started slow and open.  The music created more of a landscape that invited the listener to step into it.  It was in these moments that the band clearly absorbed energy from the audience.  In this case, the audience was “paying attention”.  With the audience investing their energy it allowed the band to recuperate a bit and pull in more energy in preparation for the crescendo.

—

The best concerts are ones where both the performer and the audience walks away Refreshed.  This doesn’t mean they have more energy than what they started with.  It means that they spent a huge amount of energy but they got an equal and different amount in return.

These concepts are illustrated here with music but they are universal.  Your greatest interactions are no doubt the ones where you get as much back as you put into it.  Since we are all artists of life, you could ask yourself the same question performing artists ask themselves on a nightly basis: how to we increase the energy exchange?

If you want to walk around energized and refreshed, then work on getting your balance of cycling, driving, and absorbing.  Once you get it down, you’ll feel the applause all around you.

The most visible creators I know of
are those artists whose medium is life itself.
The ones who express the inexpressible -
without brush, hammer, clay, or guitar.
They neither paint nor sculpt -
their medium is being.
Whatever their presence touches has increased life.
They see and don’t have to draw.
They are the artists of being alive…
-J. Stone

“If people knew how hard I had to work to gain my mastery, it wouldn’t seem wonderful at all.”
-Michelangelo

—-

One definition of “artist” in Webster’s Dictionary is: ‘a skilled performer.’

In my view we are all artists.  We are artists of life.  Life itself is the art form.  Like the masters of any art form, it takes considerable practice to achieve grace.  Everyday is an opportunity to work on some aspect of the thousands that comprise our lives on earth.

No, it isn’t easy but then again most practice never seemed easy (think back to childhood sports or arts).  But in this one case, you don’t have the option.  You are an artist of life.  You can either embrace it, open up to your medium, and learn to be a graceful artist, or you can be frustrated.

One benefit of this medium is that there are billions of others out there to learn from.  Billions are on the same journey right now and billions have passed.  Many of these people have kept record of their journey and insights.  There are great books and mentors out in the world ready to teach or guide you in your endeavors.

Whether you spend your days as part of a large corporation, a small business, a non-profit, traveling, relaxing, panhandling on the streets, or performing art in the traditional sense – you are your own person and this grace is yours to own.

Like the great masters, approach your craft with a willingness to learn, adapt, and practice to yield the greatest results.  Eventually you will find that each moment of practice in itself is an opportunity to perform with the grace of a master.